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Dark Cloud

It starts with darkness.

You never really understand the dark cloud analogy unless you live it. Feel it. Breathe it. Become it.

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Symbiosis

We waited in the darkness
You sat beside me
Holding my hand
I told you to leave
Leave me here to be alone
Yet you stay here
My faithful guardian

Except you’re not a guardian
You’re not protecting me from anything
You’re hurting me

Don’t you see that?
Or do you know that?
Are you sitting beside me
Holding me tight in your grip
And laughing
Because you have me exactly where you want me?

I’m screaming
And you laugh
You tell me to breathe rapidly
To cry uncontrollably
To stay awake because I don’t need sleep

Why do you get to laugh?
Why do you have this hold over me?

We aren’t friends.
We aren’t partners.
We aren’t even enemies.
We are nothing and we are everything.

The Shadow

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I like to think the battle is over. I feel the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders.

Unfortunately, it’s only for a minute. Maybe an hour until I feel the pressure come back.

My thoughts are constantly restless. There is always something I’m thinking about. My mind is always anxious.

Dictionary.com defines anxiety as: “distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune.”

I don’t feel danger exactly. I fear what every basic fear boils down to: the unknown.

I hate not knowing things. I hate empty feelings. I hate the feeling I get in my chest. I hate the shadow.

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Embracing Authenticity

"Don't be ashamed of your story it will inspire others!"

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“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” — Maya Angelou

Lonely Blue Boy

The Boy Who Cries Wolf

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Feel the fear and do it anyway...