Blog Archives

Keep On Keeping On

I struggle with body image. If you’ve read past blogs, this is no surprise. Call it a side effect of my anxiety medication. Call it lifestyle changes. Call it whatever you want. But every day when I look in the mirror, a part of me is uncomfortable with the reflection I see.

I have come a long way in the last few years. I have become more secure in my own skin. I feel more comfortable when I look in the mirror than I did two years ago.

Read the rest of this entry

Taking Back My Brave

I heard his voice today. In my head. It’s been so long I have almost forgotten what it sounds like.

It happened at church. The priest was reading the gospel and I closed my eyes, just for a moment, and I could hear him tell me one of the many jokes I had heard time and time again before.

IMG_3465

Read the rest of this entry

Learning to Fly

In September, I wrote a post about things I had learned from guys I’ve gone on dates with called Finding Myself in Mr. Wrong.

Here we are a few months later, after deleting all 5 dating apps off of my phone, and I have learned many more lessons about life and myself.

Read the rest of this entry

The Thing About Counselling

I haven’t been to talk therapy for my Panic Disorder since I graduated from university in June.

It’s now January of 2016. And today, I went to see a counsellor.

SWWTlkf.gif

Read the rest of this entry

The Pool

So if you’ve been in my inner circle in the past four days (but feels like a lifetime), you’ll know that the most recent event in my life is that I got “ghosted.”

First of all, the fact that “ghosting” is a word in pop culture today makes me want to punch someone in the face. The fact that the action exists makes me even more mad.

Second of all, if you ghost someone, I hate you. There, I said it. It does not make things “any easier” by just shutting them out of your life completely seemingly out of nowhere. It’s one thing to drift away and talk to them less and let the person see it coming. But being blindsided is a pain I cannot explain.

Maybe I’m overreacting (I’m probably overreacting) to the whole situation. I want to describe it all to you. I really do. But honestly, it’s a waste of my time and energy and a waste of yours to read it.

If you are still not entirely sure what ghosting is, see the image below (thanks Google images).

ghosting-dating-breakup.png

Read the rest of this entry

Cynicism Reborn

Things often don’t go according to plan. So if you catch yourself planning, stop. Just stop.

Read the rest of this entry

A Letter to 2015 Me

Well it’s New Years Eve and what a year 2015 has been. Similar to what I did last year, I thought I would again write a letter to myself reflecting upon the last year.

90a731ec3c35412a79420fcf8cf61baf.jpg

Read the rest of this entry

The Cynic & The Romantic

image20151227-6877-12ddv80.jpg

Read the rest of this entry

Well 2015, Here’s to You.

WITH 2015 COMING TO AN END. . . 

2015: In The Beginning 
Where did you go on New Years: I was at a friends house.
Did you kiss anyone on new years I don’t think so
Did you make any resolutions? Yup, every year

2015: All about YOU 
Did you change at all this year? Definitely, and in my opinion, for the best.
Did you dye your hair? I did and I love it.
Did you get your hair cut? Yes
Did you change your style? Not really
Were you in school? Yep
Did you get good grades? Yep. Best year yet.
Did you have a job? I did, I worke 2 jobs on campus and I work one now.
Did you drive? Yes
Did anyone close to you give birth? I don’t remember, is that bad?
Did you move at all? I did in May.
Did you go on any vacations? Yes, I got to see the Philippines for the first time and I went to a conference on my own.
Did you leave the country at all? Yes

2015: Your Love Life 
Did you break up with anyone? No
Did you meet anyone special? Yes, many special people..
Did you fall in love? Just with myself.

2015: Friends and Enemies 
Did you meet any new friends this year? Yes and I love them
Did any of your friendships end?: Unfortunately yes
Did you dislike anyone?: Yes
Did you make any new enemies? I hope not.
Did you resolve any fights? Yes, many.
Who was your closest friend? The girls & Ryan and Jordan.
Did you grow apart from anyone? Yes
Did you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships? No, I didn’t

In 2015 I… 
[x] broke a promise
[x] fallen out of love
[x] lied
[x] went behind your parents back
[x] disappointed someone close
[x] hid a secret
[x] pretended to be happy
[ ] kissed in the rain (I kissed in the snow though)
[x] slept under the stars
[x] kept your new years resolution
[x] forgot your new years resolution
[x] met someone who changed your life
[x] met one of your idols
[x] changed your outlook on life
[x] sat home all day doing nothing
[x] pretended to be sick
[x] left the country
[ ] almost died
[x] given up something important to you
[x] lost something expensive
[x] learned something new about yourself
[x] tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it
[x] made a change in your life
[x] found out who your true friends were
[x] met great people
[x] stayed up til sunrise
[ ] got into a car accident
[x] had friends who were drifting away from you
[x] had someone close to you die
[x] had a high cell phone bill
[x] spent most of your money on food
[ ] had a fist fight
[ ] went to the beach with your friend
[ ] saw a celebrity
[x] gotten sick
[ ] liked more than 5 people at the same time
[x] kissed in the snow
[x] celebrated Halloween/Samhain
[] broke someone else’s heart
[ ] had a stalker
[ ] mooned someone
[ ] went over the minutes on your cell phone
[ ] had a good relationship with someone
[ ] someone questioned your sexual orientation
[ ] came out of the closet
[ ] had an abortion
[x] done something you’ve regretted
[ ] kissed under mistletoe
[] painted a picture
[x] wrote a poem
[x] ran a mile
[ ] posted a blog on MySpace
[x] listened to music you couldn’t stand
[x] went to a sleepover
[x] laughed till you cried
[ ] laughed till you peed in your pants
[x] visited a foreign country
[x] cut in a line of waiting people
[x] told someone you were busy when you weren’t
[ x] partied to celebrate the new year

1. Have you had any relationships this year?
A couple flings, but nothing serious.

2. Have you had your birthday yet?
Yes! And another one next month.

3. Kissed two or more people in the same night?
Yes

4. Been on a diet?
Not really

6. Drank Starbucks?
Far too much.

8. Bought something(s)?
Yes

9. Met someone special who changed your life?
Not one who changed my life but a lot of special people.

10. Been out of the province?
Yep

What are you thinking about?
Everything I shouldn’t

Would you get married if you could right now?
No

How did you feel when you woke up today?
Groggy

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Too good

Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart?
I already am.

If you could change your eye color would you?
No, I would not.

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend?
Yes

Do you like to have long hair or short hair?
Long

Are you over the age of 25?
Not yet

How do you currently make your money?
Work

Which of your friends do you argue with the most?
Probably Ryan

Have you kissed anyone in the last 4 hours?
No

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you?
yep

Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
Just me.

When was the last time you cried really, really hard?
It’s been a while.

Who took your profile picture?
Someone else did at a Christmas party

Would you rather smile over a lie or cry over the truth?
wow this got dark fast.

What’s on your bedroom floor right now?
All my clothes

Do you trust people too easily?
No

Are you satisfied with what you currently have in life?
Yes

Have you ever liked someone a lot older than you?
Yep

Last thing you ate?
I don’t remember

Will you be in bed within twenty minutes?
I am in bed

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
Water

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
Nope

Is there a boy or girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?
Yep

Have you told anybody you loved them today?
I just woke up like half an hour ago.

Do you make every decision as if your parents are watching?
Not really.

Have you ever gotten the butterflies?
Ever in my life? Yes

Do you like to run?
No

Do you put candy canes on your Christmas tree?
Sometimes

Do you get snow where you live?
Usually, but it’s a green Christmas this year

This year have you ever been heartbroken?
Yes

Do you think 2016 will be better?
2015 was actually a fantastic year. If 2016 is better, bring it.

Finding Love in All The Right Places

In every way he was perfect. Except that he wasn’t. For me.

Read the rest of this entry

Embracing Authenticity

"Don't be ashamed of your story it will inspire others!"

Site Title

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” — Maya Angelou

Lonely Blue Boy

The Boy Who Cries Wolf

knowingnelly

Feel the fear and do it anyway...